Tuesday, March 23rd, 2004
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9:27 pm
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i dont want this to be a deadjournal.
too many memories in this,
not that that is necissarily a good thing.
but whatever.
i like to play "what was i saying a year ago today?"
but i cant on the other journal.
so i guess im just updating for the sake of updating,
so they dont erase my account or something evil like that.
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Saturday, February 7th, 2004
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12:00 pm
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newww journal.
__getaway
add it.
ive added all of you, but theres nothing on there yet.
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9:06 am
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12:11 am - how silly.
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i just spent about 4 hours at the olive garden.
we offended multiple groups of people and laughed so hard that we all had headaches at the end of the night.
my cheeks are red and i think its safe to say we are all certifiably insane for different reasons...
well, me and aimee share a reason.
im actualy starting to look forward to Aimees Party at Hamilton
and new orleans is getting more tangible by the moment.
my friends are the hottest shit around.
the end.
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Thursday, February 5th, 2004
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10:28 pm
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oh,
and p.s
someone asked me to be their valentine.
her name is sarah, and shes 3 and shes in my class.
it was so cute, i had to say yes.
i hope cj doesnt get jealous.
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10:06 pm - the things i think when im not thinking of you
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i listened to the brand new album about 12 times before i fell asleep last night.
i went to bed at 10:30, determined to put an end to my self imposed insomnia
and instead spent 3.5 hours thinking about how i was not going to think of you.
im absolutley pathetic.
kurt halsey is opening a new show in portland.
which means if you live in portland, i hate you.
i have a crush on ricky's lover.
he calls me "doll".
because hes the cutest
and we both make the same face when ricky talks about europe
(and that face would be one of disgust/jealousy/depression.)
when i told him he could be the poster child for Los Angeles he told me i reeked of SoHo,
and i fell in love.
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Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
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8:49 pm - something of value
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an exboyfriend just called me
drunk
and rambling
about my breasts
in a room full of people who i dont know.
he used to be genuine.
im not quite sure what happened.
actually, i know exaclty what happened.
girls are poison.
i feel like anthrax,
i feel like that creepy old guy who sits in diners and stares at the teenagers,
i feel like the frat boy who always has a smile for the freshman girl.
ive turned an honest person into slurs
into desperation.
into a wednesday night drinker
into a boy who can talk about my breasts all he wants in a room full of people,
but will still be alone.
its a tragedy,
and im not sad about it.
somehow i think this is more real than we ever were.
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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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9:03 pm
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6:57 pm - hey guess what
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today me and cj put on sweet home alabama in her car and sang at the top of our lungs and pretended it was summer.
even though it was sleeting.
and i bought 40 dollars worth of makeup.
because i am a crack makeup addict.
and also i am bad at saving things,
like my money and my sanity.
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Monday, February 2nd, 2004
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8:55 pm
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i am a spoiled brat in every sense of the word.
i think im getting my car
because i got a 10,000 dollar a year scholarship to loyola, and thats probobly where im going.
for being an honors scholar or something...
i really dont consider myself to be an honors scholar, and maybe they made a mistake.
ms zepka was mad at all the seniors in her class who werent there on friday.
she was giving everyone the lecture and the stare.
and maybe a month ago i would have cared
but i seem to have really lost all sense of my appreciation of learning, fear of my teachers, resentment towards my peers, and...well, my work ethic.
high school has become a waiting room.
i cant go on for half a year like this.
but it feels nice not to stress out about things.
maybe i should stop trying to care, and enjoy my uncharacteristic non-chalantness while i still can.
this is my last semester of high school after all,
i should focus more on the things that really matter to me
than those stupid records of those stupid letters.
because on june 18th, those folders will be thrown out
and it wont matter that i wasnt there on friday, or forgot to read act one of Death of a Salesman.
it will matter where i was instead of english class, and who i was lucky enough to be there with.
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Sunday, February 1st, 2004
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10:08 pm - how i spent my superbowl sunday:
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woke up at 11:30
went online and talked to random people.
woke mathew up.
half-assedly finnished my hamlet paper.
went back to sleep
woke up, took a shower, went to borders.
i love how flamboyant the borders male employees are.
i feel like i should be in a trendy salon instead of a generic bookstore.
maybe thats why they do it.
i was helped by a man named joe(l).
joe(l) liked my shirt and my purse
i liked joe(l)'s hair and his feminine nature.
came home and dad was setting up chairs for the new family room bar
an hour later, said setting up was still occuring.
mom went and got chicken.
we ate in front of the television, like a healthy nuclear family should.
beyonce sang the national anthem, the following conversation ensued:
brother : beyonce is hot
mother : i agree, she is hot
brother : dont say hot, mom
mother : im sorry, shes pretty. didnt she used to be in TLC?
came upstairs.
watched detriot rock city and read teen people
chris from STD had a blurb in the music section, it was unexpected hot sex.
did a little ricky shopping.
talked to a few people online.
went away to watch sex and the city.
came online and tediously updated my livejournal.
how exciting.
oh yeah,
and i didnt watch a second of the actual game
and i didnt know who was playing until alex told me.
and ive never ever seen the O.C.
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11:44 am - morning ramblings
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im not despondent enough to write emo livejournal entries
and the pages in my poetry journal are mostly blank.
im happier than i can remember being in a long time
and the crazy thing is that theres no guy around whos really reponsible for my mood.
how odd, to actually feel jovial and satisfied and yet, be independent.
cj and i laughed like best frends should laugh last night
and i came home and talked to a few radom people online and then fell asleep reading.
and when i woke up i wasnt thinking of anybody, i was thinking about how i cant remember the last time i cried.
when i woke mathew up this morning, i told him i felt vapid and like nothing i said realy had substance anymore.
and he said something to me, thats so beautiful, i dont think ill ever forget it.
and i cried because it meant that much to me.
he wrote it down so i would remember, three months from now, when the last time i cried was.
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Saturday, January 31st, 2004
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6:08 pm
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today me and daddy went on a shopping excursion.
because we were bored and he needed a coat.
we went to the short hills mall,
and i felt like the only one in the whole mall without a luis viuton bag and chanel sunglasses.
crazy ass rich people.
but i did get my pumps for g-pa's party!
( love is in the air )
tonight is shaynas game
and then plans to follow, although im not sure what those plans are right now.
chainXtheXdays: hooray for misery of exboyfriends
chainXtheXdays: and shoes, shoes are good too
CJDee33: u make me giggle
cheers.
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7:44 am
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im sick of this winter bullshit.
summer now please.
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Thursday, January 29th, 2004
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7:55 pm
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im tired.
i stayed up late to watch howard stern for my mathew
because he is an idiot and i am too good to him.
but i didnt really watch it, it was kinda just on.
i had a clockwork orange moment where i was holding my eyelids open.
that was fun...
and stupid. did i already mention it was stupid?
because it was.
tommorrow is "cut the first four periods and have breakfast with the ladies" day.
because i dont want to cut completely because of health.
so its a mini senior cut day for me.
at least i miss human deveolopment.
oh, and speaking of health
a note to my beloved classmates:
the word "gay" is not funny
we're not in 6th grade anymore.
so lets grow up a bit, shall we?
we are seniors after all,
lets bite our tongues for the last few months we're forced to look at eachother.
i am not spending any money for the next two weeks.
new orleans on the 12th-16th
then urban outfitters the next weekend
i need to save money so i can blow money.
do they make a patch for shopaholics?
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Wednesday, January 28th, 2004
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8:05 pm
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i am eating chunky monkey ice cream and thinking about bethany beach.
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1:59 pm - snow days
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snow days are family days.
my brother is entering his hormonal teenager phase and im exiting it.
he shops at D.E.M.O and it takes him three hours to decide if he wants a hair cut.
my mother timed her children badly,
but makes them both panckaes in the morning when it snows because its tradition and we're cute like that.
and my dad says "true that" because hes a thug, hardcore style.
oh yeah, did i mention hes a brilliant economist and hes always right (when it comes to matters such as those)?
hes a hardcore thuggin brilliant economist.
werd.
and I...
well i just sit around all day in my pajamas
and watch movies and take three hour naps
and eat pancakes with my family
and make my mom drive me to work sans make up.(because she has four wheel drive now, and she has no excuse).
yup...
a day well spent.
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Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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8:19 pm - heres a secret
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hi, my name is heather.
and when britney spears's new video for "toxic" comes on T.V, i stop whatever im doing and watch it.
i also make my friend drive over here in the snow because he took my movie without asking
and if we have a snow day tommorrow, then i will need that movie.
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Monday, January 26th, 2004
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9:01 pm
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i made a pact with a beautiful boy that i would be more focused
and he would be more organized
and together we would make a focused organized crime fighting team.
but hamlet really is such a drag after a staff dinner
where i got to hear my boss say the eff word
and the crazy ladies i work with harassed more hard working waitresses
and me and cj gossiped about new orleans
and eyed eachother when someone mentioned alcohol.
and the snow talk is everywhere.
its like a constant buzz around my head of half hearted weather forecasts
i like working with kids because they are genuinely excited by stupid little things, like snow storms.
we did a snow dance and they ran around the room like wild animals.
thats what i would expect them to do.
and my brother is sending cj stupid chain IMs
and its so silly
and it makes me laugh because now i have to send it to him 12 times.
his background is Andre 3000, when everyone knows andre is my boyfriend.
he wants a girl to tell him that she loves him at 9:11
he just came in my room begging me to unblock him so he could successfully send it to twelve people.
and sarah wrote about our childhood.
and lets face it, our childhood was just simply superior to everyone elses.
so you see, beautiful boy
that is why i cannot do my hamlet paper
because my life is stupid and good all at the same time
and writing about hamlet really wouldnt contribute to that.
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Sunday, January 25th, 2004
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10:45 pm - potential prom dress
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